Love is not a word I view the true meaning of lightly. I might say “I love you” to my friends, but it’s different than how I view the meaning of the word. Yes, I love my friends. But, what is love? There’s so many aspects and kinds of it that it feels impossible to define.
I don’t understand a lot about love, maybe I’m naive or stunted emotionally. I’m told I have an atypical personality and for a while believed I wasn’t capable of loving anything. Eventually the latter was proven to be not true. I know I’m capable of love.
There seem to be three main types of love, at least those I recognize as distinct and separate.
Familial Love
Love for your family is always there isn’t it? I don’t know, I didn’t accept until recently it was okay for me not to love my family. Granted, I love my immediate family; just not some of the extended family.
I believe that familial love is very different than any other kind of love. I believe it is a form of unconditional love that is created by the feeling that this person is your blood, they are your family and you love them. Blood is thicker than water, right?
Well, that phrase is actually a shortened version of “the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb.” I’ll get to the importance of that quote later.
But, familial love is very different than any other love. It’s not earned or created over time. It’s just there. And you know you’ll almost always have your family to turn to when you need them. There are no conditions to their love, they’ll always care about you.
That’s what’s great about familial love. It won’t leave you, even if you try to shake it. You don’t even have to trust your family to love them.
Platonic Love
Platonic love, or love between friends – as I’m defining it – is also a special, distinct kind of love. It’s the love that grows as trust is earned and maintained. It is the love that you feel won’t die but isn’t dependent upon the other making you happy.
Platonic love is earned, you have to trust the person to love them. And this is where the quote I mentioned earlier is relevant.
“The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb.”
That quote is a loaded statement; in a sense, it says that those you choose are more important than those who you are tied to simply by blood. And perhaps it’s correct; perhaps not.
I personally believe my family is full of people I love, but my friends are those I chose. I chose these people to trust. I chose them and I grew to love them as they earned my trust. Which is what makes my love for them so deep.
I don’t love people who are fake, deceitful, etc. Your family can be like that sometimes (not saying mine is, but just pointing out it can happen). But, you’ll still love your family even if they are things you hate.
You don’t do that with your friends. You choose your friends for the best traits you love. You choose them based on how they make you feel, and then you slowly begin to love them.
Romantic Love
Romantic love: the type of love most commonly associated with the word.
I for a very long time believed I wasn’t capable of romantic love. I have since been proven wrong.
But, this is where I believe there is a difference between saying “I love you” and “I’m in love with you.” Because they have very different connotations. One is your heart has made a connection to the person and the other is that your heart is invested in the person.
Romantic love is the type of love that has conditions. You have to like the personality of the person, trust them, et cetera. And it’s one of the most powerful loves. It can make you crazy or it can make you strong. Sometimes both.
It’s powerful and a mystery. And you can’t choose who you’re going to fall in love with.
To me, this kind of love has the most power over you and you’d sacrifice anything for them. Even if it means giving them up.
Inklings and Tea 